There are the two words which determine whether you move forward, stay still or move backwards?

Are you a “yes, but” person or a “yes, and” person?

It sounds like a trivial question. It isn’t. Those two words reveal more about a team’s culture, creativity, and capacity to move forward than almost any other diagnostic I know.

Where the Distinction Comes From

“Yes, and” is a foundational principle of improvisational theatre. The rule is simple: when your scene partner introduces an idea, you accept it — “yes” — and then build on it — “and.” You never shut down an idea with “yes, but,” because “but” signals rejection, and rejection kills improvisation.

What makes this principle so powerful is that it’s not just about theatre. It describes two fundamentally different orientations toward ideas, collaboration, and change. And the team you work in almost certainly has one orientation or the other — even if nobody has ever named it.

What “Yes, But” Looks Like in Practice

In a “yes, but” meeting, ideas arrive and immediately encounter resistance. The resistance may be practical, procedural, or experiential — “we tried something like that before,” “the budget won’t support it,” “that’s not really how things work here.” Some of this resistance is valuable. Not every idea should be pursued. Scrutiny is legitimate.

But in a “yes, but” culture, the default position is closure. Ideas are screened out before they’re developed. The person who proposes something is immediately put in the position of defending it, which changes the dynamic from collaborative exploration to positional debate.

Over time, “yes, but” cultures train their members to propose less. The cognitive tax of having your ideas routinely met with resistance is high. People learn to self-censor. The ideas that never get voiced are often the most interesting ones — the ones that felt slightly risky, slightly unconventional, slightly too early.

What “Yes, And” Looks Like in Practice

In a “yes, and” meeting, ideas land differently. There’s a moment of genuine reception before scrutiny. The group builds on what’s been proposed — taking it in directions its originator hadn’t imagined, finding the interesting possibilities within it, adding their own knowledge and perspective to give it shape and depth.

This doesn’t mean everything gets approved. “Yes, and” is not a commitment to pursue every idea. It’s a commitment to give every idea a fair hearing before it’s evaluated.

What it produces is a culture where people feel genuinely safe proposing things. Where the energy in the room is generative rather than defensive. Where the best ideas can surface because the environment doesn’t punish the risk of proposing them.

How to Shift the Culture

If your team is currently “yes, but” — and most teams lean that way by default — the shift doesn’t happen through a single conversation or a policy change. It happens through consistent modelling.

As the leader or chair, when someone proposes something in a meeting, consciously respond with curiosity before critique. “Tell me more about how that would work.” “What’s the first step you’re imagining?” “Who else could we involve in this?” These questions don’t commit you to anything. But they signal that ideas are welcome here.

You can also name the principle explicitly. “In this organisation, we try to build on ideas before we evaluate them. We’ll get to the scrutiny — but let’s understand the idea first.”

The Team’s True Character

Every meeting I attend tells me something about the team running it. A room full of “yes, and” energy feels alive — full of possibility and momentum. A room governed by “yes, but” feels heavier — careful, cautious, and quietly demoralised.

Which room do you want to work in? More importantly: which room are you creating?

The two words that answer that question are “yes, but” or “yes, and.” Choose deliberately.